Through the Grief of Loss on Earth, Consider the Gain in Heaven

After a difficult few weeks, we were finally able to lay my brother to rest. We held a small, private funeral in accordance to the directives of our state (New Jersey). I consider it a blessing that we were able to do so, despite the different hurdles we faced.

When I first started processing the loss of his life, I just kept reminding myself that Tyrone was in heaven, the most amazing place that he could ever be. I shared this process in a previous blog that you can find here.

I pondered how it was there for him in Paradise. Was he reunited with someone new today? I wondered what his days consisted of, and what he was doing in the moment he ran across my mind.

I continue to be curious about what his life in eternity is like.

I found these types of thoughts more comforting and healing when I’m reminded that he is no longer on earth with us. I’d rather think more about what he has gained, instead of what we have lost.

But in my human nature, there is still a major connection to his earthly body. We had grown up together, and I knew him as a living, breathing soul. I had countless pictures that I had been poring over since he left us. There were images from his life that included baby pictures, family portraits, and social events – the memories went on and on.

After we completed his interment, I knew I would never see him that way again. I wouldn’t hear his voice or look into his eyes again, and that hurt. That was how I knew my brother – his body and his soul.

His body was his physical manifestation, and his soul controlled how he used his body – what he said, how he acted, the silly way he danced, his unique gait – all of those characteristics that collectively made Tyrone the man that so many of us loved.

When I try to reconcile never seeing him again down here, I think about the movie Avatar, and how the human characters operated a special body to function on the planet Pandora. Humans couldn’t exist in Pandora’s atmosphere without operating in a specially-designed body.

Then I thought about David’s words in Psalms 139:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. (verse 13)

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (verse 16)

Indulge me for a moment – in my imaginative mind, as God was creating Tyrone, I picture Him placing my brother in his avatar – his human body that God knitted in my mother’s womb – so Ty’s soul and spirit could live here on earth.

And now that he has returned to his Creator, he no longer has a need for that physical covering. His body is the proof that he lived and walked on this earth.

We were never meant to stay here. We were always only passing through this life.

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. (Hebrews 13:14 NLT)

Praise God that he has made it to his forever home – he beat me again. A childhood neighbor posted a funny memory about us racing as kids, and how I got mad when Tyrone beat me, and he didn’t let me forget it. I won’t be able to forget that he beat me this time either.

But the good news is that we’ll be reunited one day at the finish line. And oh, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

CLOSING CHALLENGE:

As believers, we have the blessed promise that we will see our loved ones again in heaven. But we still have a connection to their physical memory, which affects our grieving process.

As we walk through the journey of loss, whether it’s been 20 years or 20 days, let’s not only focus on our loss, but offer thanks to God for what our loved ones have gained – a new home and eternal life in Paradise with our Savior.

Feel free to respond in the comments section… and share this story with someone in your life that could use the encouragement. 

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14 thoughts on “Through the Grief of Loss on Earth, Consider the Gain in Heaven

  1. What a Beautiful Article Tyrone was An Amazing Man and I was Blessed to call him my friend. It seems unreal still that he is gone but you are correct knowing that he is Resting With The Lord is A Great Comfort. Prayers to you and your family during this difficult time. 🙏🏾💞

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  2. This article puts a different and comforting spin on dealing with grief. Although the passing of Tyrone has hit me hard, compounded by not being able to attend the homegoing, I am so grateful to God for blessing me to have him as my family. I smile when I think of him because I loved him so. Thank you Tonya! ❤

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  3. This article puts a different and comforting spin on dealing with grief. Although the passing of Tyrone has hit me hard, compounded by not being able to attend the homegoing, I am so grateful to God for blessing me to have him as my family. I smile when I think of him because I loved him so. Thank you Tonya! ❤

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    1. Yes Trina! There is so much to make us sad when we think about different situations surrounding his death and the lack of a Homegoing celebration, but to get by without losing our peace we have to think of the good instead.

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  4. This article is beautiful, it has helped me even more to understand the loss of our family & friends..It took alot of years suffering over my loss but when my mother suffered over my brother and she wanted so much to be with him.. it was then I knew Heaven is a better place, i picture all my family & friends over the years living happily ever after..Im just so Happy to have met Tyrone, he was a good man and he helped me get through all my loss..to even have the courage to dress up my love ones, there were times that I wanted to give up but Tyrone would not let me, he would uplift my Spirits..Tyrone will forever be Remembered, Rip My Dear Friend🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼Thank You So Much Tonya❤

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  5. Such a beautiful article. My 1st day working back at the funeral home after Ty’s passing I felt stuck, I kept staring at his name going downstairs coming back up looking at his name again this went on for hours. It seemed so unreal and still does. I know this is a shock and a tremendous loss to the family. Praying for you all.❤️

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    1. Thank you. I can only imagine. I was feeling the same way when I saw his name on texts on my phone. Still having a hard time believing he’s gone. Can’t imagine what life will look like without him.

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  6. This feel so unreal , I will always keep him close to my heart he will be missed, tyrone had a heart of gold always looking out for others always working even when he was tried my condolences sorry for your loss my prayers for you and your family. He was loved by everyone.,

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  7. This feel so unreal , I will always keep him close to my heart he will be missed, tyrone had a heart of gold always looking out for others always working even when he was tried my condolences sorry for your loss my prayers for you and your family. He was loved by everyone., 💔

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