While in the kitchen preparing dinner (Butter Chicken – a delicious Indian dish, which is a household favorite), I was thinking about last week’s blog.
I had received a lot of feedback, and stats showed it was one of the most popular D4TD posts as people were really relating to it, and freely sharing about their experiences with questioning God during their hard times.
(If you missed it you can find it here.)
As I was thinking about all the different tough situations and dark times that people had shared with me, I found myself reflecting on some of my more difficult times. There had been a number of deaths on my husband’s side of the family in recent years, including the tragic loss of his brother less than a month after he turned 39, and then losing 2 beloved aunts to cancer.
In so many situations, we ask if we could just turn back the hands of time. If only something could have been done differently, if only…if only…if only.
Although it wasn’t as tragic as losing loved ones, of course my mind eventually went to Kennedi’s knee injury. And then I thought about the concussions, and the other knee injury from her hurdle fall the year before.
Other athletes on teams would go season after season problem-free, but injuries just seemed to keep plaguing her. When she experienced an injury, I would always pray and declare over her, take her for medical treatment, and wait in faith for the minor diagnosis that she would receive. She had always been able to recover from them in a few weeks’ time and finish out her season.
And within each recovery period, we worked hard to keep building up her self-confidence. Only to have another physical and emotional setback with the next injury.
But that PCL injury? That took us into new territory regarding our faith. This was no minor injury, the healing, recovery, and rehab seemingly put her a year behind other athletes her age who were now progressing in their high school sports. The physical, mental, and emotional recovery was mountainous, seemingly overwhelming.
And when I would go deeper into my feelings, or ‘in my bag’ as my daughter says now, I would question how God could have possibly let this happen?
‘Why all these setbacks? You’ve given Kennedi an amazing athletic ability, why not let her fully use it?’ (As I’m writing this, I’m feeling sheepish about even questioning God concerning an ability HE freely and graciously gave to my daughter!)
But back to my dinner preparation: as I stood in the kitchen distracted with all those thoughts racing, I realized that although there were times when I selfishly asked Why, I never really sincerely asked God for spiritual insight into why He allowed all those to happen.
And I didn’t have to wait long for an answer. While standing there at my kitchen island, with the food I was preparing in front of me, God responded, “Because you’ll use it for My glory.’
I immediately burst into tears in that moment, and even as I write this, the tears are streaming down my face as I’m recalling that moment, and how my spirit leaped inside of me.
What an honor and a privilege to be trusted by God! As parents, we have so many dreams and plans for our children, but at the end of the day, I just want God to get the glory.
As I look to the future, I have high hopes for my family as we each pursue our goals and dreams in our specific athletic, academic, and professional pursuits.
But the biggest hope of all, is that in everything we do, in everything we achieve, and in everything we become, it will all ultimately point others to God.
And here come the tears again…
What is your motive for achieving success? Is it for selfish reasons? For the greater good? For the Glory of God?
How have you handled your pain while on your path to success?
As you pursue success in your chosen path, consider how God can get the glory from your choices and actions in response to disappointments and setbacks.
Feel free to share your response in the comments section…