I lost my friend a few weeks ago. When I received an early morning text about her grave condition, I began to immediately and fervently pray, and had unwavering faith that God would do the impossible and heal her.
As I was praying for her, I recalled the last time I saw her, a few weeks earlier. It was at a local township festival, at which I had planned on leaving hours earlier. I noticed her daughters passing out flyers for their church. I excitedly asked where their mom was, so I could stop by and say hello, and they pointed me in the direction of their tent. After two rounds of walking through the park, I finally found her, gave her a big hug, and shared a private joke. Then I went on my merry way, until we met for the next time.
Only there would be no next time. When I received the update that she passed away a few days later, I was in disbelief. BUT GOD??? Your Word says if we had faith, we could move mountains (Matthew 17:20). Your Word says that we could lay hands on the sick and they would be healed (Mark 16:18). Your Word says that Life and Death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and she always spoke Life over herself!
I just didn’t understand, and I questioned God. I needed Him to help me understand why the prayers, declarations, and faith of so many people went seemingly unanswered.
Now, well-meaning folks are quick to say “You shouldn’t question God”. But I just didn’t subscribe to that. Yes, I knew He was sovereign, but I also believed that He didn’t mind when I asked Him questions for my own understanding, with the purpose of strengthening my relationship with Him and getting to know Him better.
I question God ALL the time! Not in a disrespectful manner, but as His daughter I truly don’t think He minds me asking about certain things I’m experiencing. I ask as I’m seeking Him in the situation, to get to know Him better, to understand what I need to learn from it, and so that I can have peace when thoughts may take me in the wrong direction.
When I ask, in His own way, God almost always answers me. I know God came pretty hard at Job when he questioned Him about all the devastating loss he had experienced, but I was thankful that my responses have been much more tender.
I believe since I was adopted into His family when I asked his son Jesus into my heart, I had the privilege of coming to God with any question, and He welcomed my spiritual curiosity.
I desired an answer, but I didn’t press the issue. I knew He would respond in His own timing. During the praise and worship portion of Ebony’s Homegoing Service, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. We were singing a song that held such a powerful meaning to her, “Miracles, Signs, and Wonders”.
I thought about when she blinked multiple times after the Prayer Service for her healing the night before she passed. And I kept thinking, why would He give us that Sign when He was still going to take her? And as we sang the line “He’s a Miracle Worker”, He responded to me that her blinking was a Sign that God was absolutely able to heal her, but it simply was not in His plan.
My next human response should have been WHY? But I didn’t ask anything else. I was just grateful for the answer and praised Him in Thanksgiving for His response in that moment.
I knew I couldn’t begin to comprehend His ways or thoughts. All I could do was trust them. This was all according to His plan.
I know we are commanded to be strong in the Lord (Ephesians 6:10), and endure to the end (Matthew 24:13), but sometimes… just sometimes the pain can be too much.
I thought about it more, and even Jesus questioned God when He was on the cross –
My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)
In his suffering and torment, Jesus cried out to His Father. I believe sometimes we get so overwhelmed with life’s circumstances, and we just desire some level of understanding to what it is we are going through, no matter how insignificant the reply may seem.
In our agony we want to ask:
-Why did my spouse cheat/leave?
-Why am I sick?
-Why did I lose my home?
-Why was I fired/laid off?
-Why is my child struggling?
-Why did my loved one have to die?
And I think those are all perfectly reasonable questions that we can humbly ask God. We are human after all, and hearing from God helps the healing process, especially when a mental transition is required to enter a new chapter of life.
And I truly believe that when I get to heaven, all will be revealed, and I will understand the answers to all the “Why’s” that I’ve asked throughout the years. But until then, my best option is to continue to Just Trust Him.
Do you have a question for God? In genuine humbleness, ask Him whatever you will, and then wait in expectation for a response.
Feel free to share your response in the comments section…