My schedule was jam-packed this past weekend. Throughout the week, I experienced varied levels of anxiety about it, as there were a number of activities that required close coordination with my husband.
Anyone who knows my husband, knows that time is not his friend. I jokingly (cough, cough) always say that I always need a Plan B when it comes to him, just in case our plans go awry.
On Friday night, due to circumstances – some within his control, and some not – our plans went up in smoke. Unexpected car troubles left weekend plans in a cloud of uncertainty.
I had been planning a 25th anniversary celebration weekend with my sorority sisters of Delta Sigma Theta, complete with seeing college friends, and I had really been looking forward to it for months.
Kassadi also had an important volleyball tournament at Hofstra University in Long Island, NY, which was supposed to be a nice daddy/daughter road trip, along with Kennedi. With Kenny’s car down, it seemed like I was going to miss my big weekend celebration with my sorority sisters.
I was NOT happy about this prospect. And I was NOT happy with my husband. And I told the Lord in no uncertain terms just that. I was in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, wanting to let my emotions explode. I wanted to call Kenny on the phone and let out a flurry of words that would have undoubtedly ushered in conflict. But then I saw the index cards that I taped onto my mirror as reminders:
I wanted to honor God, I wanted to pass my test, and learn whatever lesson was supposed to come out of this. But my frustration was so high, so I looked up and yelled out, “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME?”
His quiet response was, “Just Trust Me”. It stopped me right in my tracks. I don’t think I was even expecting an answer. I just wanted to voice my frustration at Him, since I had just gotten a warning through those note cards not to place the phone call that I so desperately desired to make. That would have brought consequences that I assuredly would have later regretted.
So I just kept repeating His directive to myself – Just Trust Me, Just Trust Me, Just Trust Me.
I sat on my bed, closed my eyes, and thought – what other choice do I have? I could try to figure this out my way, which most likely would have resulted in some unfavorable outcomes, or I could release everything I was feeling, and Just Trust God.
So I did. I prayed and asked for God to work everything out for my weekend, and whatever the outcome, I trusted Him. And finally, peace came. I had no idea what would take place the next day, but I was leaving it up to God to work out.
It wasn’t picture perfect – after approximately 3 hours of sleep, I met a gracious fellow volleyball parent, who drove the girls to the tournament, and another one who brought them back home (her team played awesome and qualified for the next round!)
I made my way down to Washington, DC, stopping for a quick nap once I felt my eyes getting tired, but made my train, met my sorority sisters, and had a simply delightful day.
And the diagnostic for the car wasn’t terrible either – 2 new tires and re-alignment, and Kenny was back on the road later that day.
When my head hit the pillow later that night, and I reflected on all that had taken place throughout the day, I was simply in awe. Today’s Defensive Strategy can be tough to implement, as we often lean to our own understanding and interpretations of the situations and expected outcomes, which usually drives us to take matters into our own hands.
Before we fly off the handle or accept a yet-to-happen outcome that we expect to take place, let’s remember to Just Trust Him. Since Saturday, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to continue obeying this directive. And He has continued to prove Himself worthy of my trust. Not always in my timing, but always in His.
Heck, I’m smack dab in a tough situation now, and it’s a struggle – but I’m still reminding myself to Just Trust Him. I must wait out my enemy and resist his temptations until God shows up to my rescue. And I know it’s coming…
Are you in the middle of a situation and expecting a negative outcome to take place?
Can you throw all of your earthly understanding out of the window, and Just Trust God with the outcome?
If so, in this moment, verbally declare, “I trust you God”. Now make sure you act like it!