The last few months have been tough to endure. Indoor track season was fast and furious, and the track athletes that we are friends with were having amazing club and high school seasons. I followed their accomplishments, celebrating their success, while also battling my own personal disappointment that Kennedi couldn’t join them.
Social media got to be difficult at times as it was a constant reminder that we were being left out. I had always looked forward to my daughter’s rookie season in high school and wanted to see her excel in a sport she had trained in for so many years.
And now that the indoor season was over and the outdoor season was in full swing – there were the Woodbury Relays, Penn Relays – and different track meets coming up that I remember competing in while a high school athlete – I had been waiting for years to cheer Kennedi on while she participated in them.
I had to stop myself from questioning God. In the last 9 months, I’ve regularly found myself asking “Why?? Why God, did you allow this happen to her? Why didn’t you protect her?”
And as I continued this remarkable journey, I would be reminded that there were parents whose child may have never been able to play a sport due to a health issue or physical limitation.
Or what about the family that didn’t have the funds, resources, or time to support their own gifted child in his/her athletic dreams? Or even that athlete who loved certain sports but wasn’t blessed with the ability to even make the team, let alone excel.
What about all of them? Were each of these situations God’s fault? Regardless of each condition, God certainly has a plan for each scenario described.
I humbly realized that even through her rehabilitation, Kennedi is doing things that other children may never be able to do on their best day.
Through this process, I’ve also had a glimpse of what those living with a physical disability experience on a daily basis. When Kennedi was in the wheelchair, we experienced the staring and curious eyes watching her every move – that scrutiny for a few weeks was difficult, I can’t even begin to imagine our lives if that was our daily reality.
We were all so conscious of the unwanted attention we were receiving. That temporary reality gave us a level of compassionate for others that we may not have had, unless we had this personal experience.
I still have Kennedi’s track bib number from July 12th, 2019, her ER hospital bracelet, and our temporary handicap placard on my nightstand. I look at them every day – they are a daily reminder for today’s Steady State verse – to trust God even in our present state, as there are many other scenarios that we could be experiencing. We can’t see past our current situation, but we can live and honor God while we’re here.
And even though I can’t see the end of our journey, or understand everything we have or are continuing to go through and why, I will be at peace, and continue to do my best to live in a state of contentment, which I’m only able to do, through my (mostly) unwavering trust in God.
Is there a situation in your life, that you struggle to understand why God allowed? Can you trust God, in spite of your feelings, and be content with it?
Be observant of those around you – you may not have the life you desire, but there is always someone willing to trade places with you. Find things to be thankful for as a daily practice, as continued thankfulness will bring you peace within your circumstance.